"More Advice"

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• WIll: Gun cleaner makes excellent toffee, too.
• Dunx: Use the word "staycation" at every opportunity. No one will be repelled to the point where you are murdered messily with a shovel.
• Tuj: [Dunx] I wouldn't call it a "word", I'd call it an abhorrence! Where's my shovel?
  Struggling for something to post on an MC website? A little linguistic observation will keep a game going without causing a rumpus.
• Dunx: [Tuj] I only mentioned it because it was a subject on JAM, but as you say a horrifying neologism. I shall be sharpening my digging implement accordingly.
• Tuj: [Dunx] Just A Minute's back on air? Excellent, thank you! But don't talk about the "word" any more, I'm sure vultures are circling ;)
• ImNotJohn: If you're still planning to take holidays abroad, be sure to call it a "gocation".
• JLE: Break a leg. It doesn't even have to be your own.
• PaulWay: The less you pay, the better the product.
• Software: [PW] So very true, free stuff is always the best.
• RavenBlack: It's much better to spend your life in a small cage and have a painless death, than to live a normal life and die a violent death. (Counterpoint to ImNotJohn fifteen lines up, or comment on airline security theater? You decide!)
• Dujon: Join the army.
• PaulWay: Why, is it coming apart? Siamese cats make excellent pets.
• ImNotJohn: Siamese make excellent pets
• RavenBlack: Make excellent pets.
• Dunx: Permutation commands respect.
• Software: Underpants can be reused after a week in the laundry basket.
• newkid: Go and see Avatar.
• RavenBlack: Watch movies with 3D glasses - they will inevitably be a tour de force of well-written delight.
• Dan: When touring southern England, be sure to ask "what was this village called before you renamed it to confuse the Germans?"
• Dunx: Crucial election to contest upon which the fate of an entire legislative agenda rests? Why not pick an unappealing candidate who cannot run an effective campaign? Then for extra credit ignore the situation until it is too late to do anything without sounding like a hectoring bossy boots.
• Stevie: [Dan] *sneezing coffee through nose*
• newkid: Listen to Muse.
• PaulWay: Make your boots more comfortable by smearing lard on your feet before inserting them.
• Dunx: [PaulWay] Before inserting your boots where?!
• PaulWay: Pedantic questioning of the grammar and semantics of other people's sentences is the height of humour and always appreciated.
• RavenBlack: [PaulWay] This is supposed to be bad advice!
• PaulWay: Sydneysiders are naturally xenophilic - they love nothing more than mixing cultures and learning about other people's ways of thinking.
• Dujon: All natural harbours should be given over to the rich and famous and never, ever, be passed to the convicts of Botany Bay.
• Raak: It's bad luck to listen to the long beep.
• PaulWay: Don't bother with the Paddington Express to get you into the heart of town from Heathrow. The ordinary, serviceable London Underground will do it for a fraction of the cost and almost the same level of comfort.
• Dunx: Argue in email. All the unspoken nuances of your remarks will be translated faithfully so there is no chance of misunderstanding or hurt feelings.
• Raak: Before asking the support staff to fix your computer, rant at them for their total incompetence and obstructiveness. This will ensure instant and reliable service from them.
• Raak: Corollary: If they get on their high horse about it, tell them it's their job to put up with that sort of thing.
• RavenBlack: Corollary 2: If you work in a service industry, act incompetent and obstructive, then blame your reluctance to help on the fact that the customer, inevitably, gets angry with you.
• Raak: Hire incompetent jobsworths, so you have someone to blame when things go wrong.
• PaulWay: First, blame someone else - preferably someone who is good at fixing problems.
• Dunx: Crumbs of food are lent pleasant, spicy overtones by a sojourn between the keys - suck at your keyboard today for a epicurean experience you will never forget!
• Dunx: s/a/an/ - vowel calumny!
• Tolken: Clean your keyboard with sheep-dip — or dip it in a sheep.
• Dunx: UI churn is the very best way to keep people coming back to your social networking site.

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